Sometimes

Sometimes it seems like you can't even trust the ones close to you. Let alone the ones you help the most pretends as if you've done nothing. Smiles, giggles, do things with you, or whatever just to keep you happy yet are lies all the time. It's like the new saying,"Same shit different toilet." Even the ones that supposedly love you have lies behind lies just to keep what you want to see and hear exist when really it's just full of shit. I mean don't get me wrong...I got dirt too but when you try to be honest to someone and they still lie to you about little things it's annoying.

Sometimes I wonder where would I be if the word never existed to me. Like what if I never met my son's mom? What if's I never had kids? What if I never had sex? What's if I never exist? A lot of these things come to mind that's why I"m the Deep Thinker. But all in the end I will never know where I'll be because I have caused so much problems for myself that I can't even stabilize.

Sometimes I wish I could trust my son's mom so I could be with her and things would be cool. But so many lies to me even when I have the evidence is like a total metal down. And because it's been going on for so long it's embedded. But I don't even understand myself. I mean, I do stuff with her yet I don't want to be with her. I do stuff with her yet I don't trust her. Is it because she lives with me that's always causing temptation or am I just plain retarded and a horny monkey.

Sometimes I wish I had it all and I believe I could have. However, now...I think it's just a dream because I'm 22 years old stuck with momma and baby's momma. Sometimes I wish it was just me, myself, I, and money. But just like sometimes maybe some day.

HA HA HA Picture that.